Hi. I know. This blog had been personal, but not personal enough to be thrown with unnecessary details. I do not even remember how to write in a diary now. It was always a series of stories or essays, but never that simple documentation of what REALLY went on my life, not that it matters, right?
So I met this guy. He was fun and oddly displaying too much affection and attention needed, though he was younger than I am. I heard of him first from a mutual friend who warned me about being "caught" in this guy's net, which might take forever to get out. It sounded rational, hearing from her but of course, I do not want to be the type of person who would be too quick to judge, so I weighed things and decided as long as I do not entertain him, nothing exactly bad would happen. I figured, this guy needs the Lord, and he needs lessons on the basics of waiting for true love. So there we were, spending everyday on conversations. Most of the time, he'd prefer throwing flirty remarks which I patiently brushed off (c'mon, I'm older here). Eventually, though, he warmed up to the idea of true love and even God. Hm, or so I thought. I don't know. Maybe he thought I was too conservative to be dealt with. Communication suddenly went down the pits and aside from liking photos and statuses on Facebook, we no longer had contact. I noticed some activity going on between him and a pretty girl and I thought to myself, "Tsk. I thought there had been a change of ideals." I feel sorry, really. I do not know if I should have done better. We're meeting this June and whatever happens, well, happens.
Haha. I do not know why I'm writing about this. I just scrolled down though my feed on Facebook, and paused when I saw his name. Then everything came flashing back, as if taunting me that it had been "this" close to a change. Whatever, I'm blabbering. Thing is, sooner or later, more things that I couldn't change would come. And no matter what I do, they are just not bound to be changed by anything that I choose to do. God has other plans.
Really. I just wanted to write about something to at least get my mind off its monotonous activities. Thanks for reading and making this worth the effort. Until my next post. :)
Friday, May 3, 2013
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
UNFINISHED (Chapter 1)
This is a story I managed to stitch
together due to boredom and the failing internet. This is still in
progress, so I might just post the next few chapters periodically. :)
Just in case you're wondering, this story is inspired by the
folkloric elements of Mindanao, thus the familiar local mythological
creatures that might appear in the succeeding chapters. Enjoy. :)
Oh, and I do not have a title yet, so
this shall be named UNFINISHED for the mean time, referring to
the story which is, of course, still unfinished. :D
I dipped my head slightly to the side
to get a better view of him. He didn't seem to notice so I slowly
parted my lips and whispered, “Turn around.” He didn't. He
laughed with Angela and Don who were tossing twigs to the fire which
already rose waist-high. He played with an imaginary basketball and
threw it over to an imaginary ring, but he didn't turn around. “Do
I really even know you still?”
“What in the world are you doing,
talking to yourself?” Shane
asked, rubbing her hands. “Come on now. It's freezing out
here!” I nodded and beckoned her to go ahead. She squinted in
disapproval but when she realized what I was doing, she sighed and
resigned to our tent, her long hair whipping from side to side with
each step she took.
It was a beautiful night for camping,
except that it gets too chilly for us to stay outside for a long
time. And as if I were in the movies, I searched the evening sky for
stars that might foretell my fate for the rest of the summer.
Nothing. Then I felt the large trees that surrounded our camp,
tracing my fingers up and down the rough little ridges and scars
previous campers had carved mercilessly. Moss.
Movies do make real
things appear magical on screen. But in reality? There really are no
birds to sympathize with you, and there really is no background
music.
Papa always said he used to come here
with Anton's dad. They had been best friends, and this had been their
ultimate getaway place. Before it became a camping spot, of course. I
tried to imagine how it was before: with my dad and Anton's dad,
slapping each other's backs, repeating random jokes, living out their
youth, with our moms cooking boiled bananas and sweet potatoes over
the fire they had managed to make. I wondered if time didn't go so
fast, Anton and I would still be as close as our dads had been.
“Zarah?”
His eyes turned crimson red, then
orange, and I almost took off to our tent had I not realized they
were only reflecting the fire from the camp. “Hi, Anton.”
My insides squirmed as he sat down next
to me on the damp grass.
“What are you doing here?” he
asked, giving me a sideway glance, before offering me an opened pack
of soda crackers. 'He remembered?' I
thought to myself, blinking back the shock that must've shown through
my eyes.
“Still
your favorite, I suppose.” he grinned and slid one cracker from the
pack before shoving it into his mouth. Crumbs escaped their fate, and
rolled down his gray gym shirt that I had given him last Christmas,
when I drew out his name for Kris Kringle. His body at least changed
a lot.
I nodded and took a
cracker as well. “Thanks. Uh, it's much more peaceful over here,”
I mumbled. It was, and it was much colder too.
When I realized he
wasn't saying anything back, I absent-mindedly pulled with my bare
hands the weeds that had stubbornly sprouted on the ground I was
sitting on. I was anticipating him to open his mouth again and talk
endlessly, but as seconds passed by, my heart only pumped more oxygen
into my brain, and I just had to do something with my hands, thus the
weed-pulling going on. Nothing came from him except his steady
breathing. I waited.
“Hey,”
he finally blurted out after several minutes. I sat bolt straight and
a smile almost started to form on my lips.
“Yeah?”
I answered quickly – too quickly, even, though that was the least
that should have bothered me. Turning my head, I watched him draw a
silver box from his jean's back pocket. It has red velvet detailing
at the corners and was small enough to fit into his open palm.
Flipping the lid open, he revealed a silver bracelet that glinted
whenever he tilted it sideways. It was his mother's. “I'll give it
to the girl I'd really like,” he had said when we were a lot
younger. I had wished it would be me.
Mouth as dry as our
deserted back yard, I only stared at it wide-eyed.
“Remember
this?” He smiled before closing the box. “I think I found her
already.”
My mind raced and
rummaged through my mental dictionary for words that I could possibly
use when he wears the jewelry over my wrist. I almost lifted my hand
to him, but what he said next not only stopped me from doing so, but
also made my heart sink miles below my feet.
“Could
you give this to Shane for me?”
I stared in
disbelief. His eyes were almost too happy, my chest hurt with each
passing second I looked straight at him. I wanted to stand up and
take off to the woods, but I knew better and decided to fix a smile
on my face instead.
“Shane?
Really? I thought you said she was too loud for you.” At least that
was what he said when we were twelve, back when we were inseparable.
I guess seven years is enough to make the world spin the other way.
It was too late to turn back time. I looked at him finish off the
last of the cracker with a nervous smile.
He chuckled and
ruffled my hair as if I were a silly child, oblivious to the
universal truth that things here on earth never stay the same
forever. But I knew, of course, and I could testify on that.
“I
know I should give this to her personally, but...” he trailed off.
Something beneath us was moving, shaking the rocks beside us.
“Uh,
earthquake?” I smiled, trying to convince ourselves. It stopped.
But just as soon as everything around us was silent again, the trees
surrounding the camp shook violently before Angela's shrilly scream
cut through the air.
“Angela!”
We both called out, running towards her tent. Shane, Don, and Janus
also came to the rescue, but when we unzipped her tent flap open,
Angela has already disappeared.
“She's
playing a prank on us,” Janus informed us nonchalantly, waving his
barbeque tongs above his head to swat the imaginary pesky mosquitoes
he had been complaining about since late afternoon. Apparently, all
the commotion had interrupted his cooking, it was clear he was
getting impatient. Of course he was. It was way past dinner time. I
watched Janus wipe his sweat off his invisible neck with the hem of
his shirt, before leaning on a stump behind him.
“No,
she isn't.”
Everyone turned to
Shane, who was now crouched beside Angela's sleeping bag. Slowly she
lifted her hand and something gleamed through her fingers. It was
Angela's beaded necklace she says was passed on to her by her mom
before she died.
“She
never takes this off,” Shane whispered before pausing as if
remembering something. “I knew we were being watched.”
“What
do you mean, watched?”
Don asked, unsure. A trickle of sweat crawled down his temple.
I didn't know what
to think of it. One second Anton and I were talking a few meters from
the camp, and the next second, everything went haywire. If this were
a prank, it was played real better than usual. I studied the camp.
Everything was still, but at the same time, suffocating. Anton,, who
had gone to the boys' tent came back with his duffel bag, packed.
“C'mon,”
he announced to everyone. “We're leaving this place.”
“And
Angela?” I managed to ask.
“We're
going to find her, wherever the lair of those who took her is.”
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
What Is True Faith? (On the Book of Hebrews)
Not even giants of faith get exactly what they want.
"These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised." Heb. 11:39
What is faith? And how can you be sure you've got it? Some Christians think of faith as an almost magical force: if you muster up enough of it, you'll get rich, stay healthy, and live a contented life, they say. Yet how does one "muster up" faith? What are signs of true faith?
The author of Hebrews launches into a detailed description of faith, complete with references to several dozen biographical models. "Without faith," Hebrews says bluntly, "it is impossible to please God."(11:6)
Not What You'd Expect
But the picture of faith emerging from these chapters contains some surprises. The author uses words and phrases like "persevere," "endure," "don't lose heart." In many instances, the heroes cited did not receive the promise they hoped for; some ended up flogged and destitute, hiding out in goatskins (11:36-38). Many died - horrible deaths.
Faith, concludes the author, most resembles a difficult race. The rummer has his eyes on the winner's prize, and despite nagging temptations to slacken the pace, he refuses to let up until he crosses the finish line. "Throw off everything that hinders," Hebrews coaches (12:1). "Strengthen your feeble arms and weak knees." (12:12)
Is It Worth the Struggle?
Why do people punish their bodies to run a grueling marathon race? Most runners name two reasons: the sense of personal reward they get and the physical benefits of the exercise. The same two rewards apply in the spiritual realm: great prizes await those who persevere, and the very process of living by faith builds strong character . In this race, no one loses. If you finish, you get the reward.
Here, as elsewhere, Hebrews holds up Jesus, who endured great suffering for our sakes (12:2-3), as the ultimate example. The faith described in Hebrews is not sugar-coated; God does not guarantee a life of luxury and ease. It is tough faith: a constant commitment to hang on and believe God against all odds, mo matter what.
(An insight from the Devotional Study Bible.)
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