Putting Aside Romance

A Pastor once told us a year ago, “You know what keeps the Lord from moving in your generation? Gugma. Love – that which is of and between humans.”

I thought about it for a moment. Who doesn’t want romance, anyway? Even in action movies, you’d find a chip of romance in the screenplay. Even in mystery novels, you’d find couples and a little of their love story. When I was just entering the puberty stage I used to linger at the young adult romance category in the bookstore. And even if I didn’t, I was bound to read love stories in any genre, too. Romance dominates songs and poems. It is as if romance was a legal drug that triggers all your senses. And people liked that. In fact, some like it too much that they spend their lives looking for that kind of love and that kind of romance that they wish would last.

“Yes, I was born for you. It was written in the stars…”

“Because of you, my life has changed. Thank you for the love and the joy you bring…”

Song lyrics like these have infiltrated into our philosophies and way of life that it has become perfectly normal. I could never forget our daily classroom discussions back in the day. When everybody in class gets bored and drowsy, the teacher immediately changes the subject and shifts to talking about love and romance, and everybody starts getting all attentive again. You mention romance, and the atmosphere changes. Magic, they always say.

But isn’t it too sad that the world now thinks the reason for their existence is another person somewhere in the world that they think they were meant to love? Isn’t it too sad that nowadays, you are only considered complete when you’ve finally settled down and raised a family of your own? What happened to our Ultimate Purpose?

Today, the Church’s youth is also facing the same struggle. I say struggle, because we are now blinded when we consciously or unconsciously let our hearts take over. Sure, we Christians say we love the Lord above all else. Sure, we say our purpose on earth is to glorify our Creator, but how much of what we say are we really living out?

Are we more excited with our future partner than our future with just the Lord? When a special person finally arrives, does he/she drown our vision for God’s kingdom? When we have no vision for the Lord’s work, we could not expect to hear what the Master wants us to do, could we? When our hearts are only partly committed to him, we could not expect His movement through us, could we?

2 Chronicles 16:9 says, “For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.”

I am not writing all this because I am immune to romance. On the contrary. I am writing this because I have been in the stage when I felt what it was like to be consumed with thoughts of romance. I am writing this because I have experienced being deceived by my own heart and emotions. They have said it was alright as long as the other person was godly and in the same faith, but they didn’t tell me to stop when I forgot to assess if my thoughts about that person started getting greater than my thoughts about God and His kingdom. The process of reprioritizing is not a painless process. In fact, it would be one of the hardest and most painful. When the Lord tells us to give up even the dreams of finding somebody to grow old with, it would not be without pain. But if we say we love the Lord and want to live it, are we willing to surrender everything and submit to His Perfect Will, even when we could not comprehend it yet?

Romance is a gift from God. But just as how money is a gift too, when we are not careful and wise with the way we handle it, it becomes an ugly idol in the eyes of our Master. What was meant to give glory to Him has now replaced His position in our lives.

There is a right time for everything, Ecclesiastes 3 says. And we could give way to His right timing when our hearts are set on the Lord and His Perfect Will in surrender. When it is time, we would see that the great Elohim Himself has placed all things in proper order.

People all over the globe hunger for love that they have to use up their lifetime looking for another person to love perfectly. But has not the Father in heaven already done the greatest expression of love for us 2000 years ago through His Son, the Anointed One? Was Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross not enough for us to realize that He is True Love? And would it not take just a taste of His perfect love for us to understand that we have been made complete in Him?

He might or might not grant us this gift of romance, but He wants us to know that the only romance He wants us to chase after, is romance with Rabanni Yahshua ha Mashiyach, the Lord Jesus Christ – our Bridegroom, and our First Love. Are we, like Mary, willing to pour out everything – desires and affections – into the feet of Jesus?

People will wonder why we are willing to forsake everything – even the supposedly good things – for the sake of Jesus. Let them wonder. People will laugh at you for being illogical and foolish enough to miss out on the fun. Let them laugh. But His glory would then shine in your set-apart life if you allow Him to move in you, and then the world will see Him there. Let them see.