Putting Aside Romance

A Pastor once told us a year ago, “You know what keeps the Lord from moving in your generation? Gugma. Love – that which is of and between humans.”

I thought about it for a moment. Who doesn’t want romance, anyway? Even in action movies, you’d find a chip of romance in the screenplay. Even in mystery novels, you’d find couples and a little of their love story. When I was just entering the puberty stage I used to linger at the young adult romance category in the bookstore. And even if I didn’t, I was bound to read love stories in any genre, too. Romance dominates songs and poems. It is as if romance was a legal drug that triggers all your senses. And people liked that. In fact, some like it too much that they spend their lives looking for that kind of love and that kind of romance that they wish would last.

“Yes, I was born for you. It was written in the stars…”

“Because of you, my life has changed. Thank you for the love and the joy you bring…”

Song lyrics like these have infiltrated into our philosophies and way of life that it has become perfectly normal. I could never forget our daily classroom discussions back in the day. When everybody in class gets bored and drowsy, the teacher immediately changes the subject and shifts to talking about love and romance, and everybody starts getting all attentive again. You mention romance, and the atmosphere changes. Magic, they always say.

But isn’t it too sad that the world now thinks the reason for their existence is another person somewhere in the world that they think they were meant to love? Isn’t it too sad that nowadays, you are only considered complete when you’ve finally settled down and raised a family of your own? What happened to our Ultimate Purpose?

Today, the Church’s youth is also facing the same struggle. I say struggle, because we are now blinded when we consciously or unconsciously let our hearts take over. Sure, we Christians say we love the Lord above all else. Sure, we say our purpose on earth is to glorify our Creator, but how much of what we say are we really living out?

Are we more excited with our future partner than our future with just the Lord? When a special person finally arrives, does he/she drown our vision for God’s kingdom? When we have no vision for the Lord’s work, we could not expect to hear what the Master wants us to do, could we? When our hearts are only partly committed to him, we could not expect His movement through us, could we?

2 Chronicles 16:9 says, “For the eyes of the LORD range throughout the earth to strengthen those whose hearts are fully committed to Him.”

I am not writing all this because I am immune to romance. On the contrary. I am writing this because I have been in the stage when I felt what it was like to be consumed with thoughts of romance. I am writing this because I have experienced being deceived by my own heart and emotions. They have said it was alright as long as the other person was godly and in the same faith, but they didn’t tell me to stop when I forgot to assess if my thoughts about that person started getting greater than my thoughts about God and His kingdom. The process of reprioritizing is not a painless process. In fact, it would be one of the hardest and most painful. When the Lord tells us to give up even the dreams of finding somebody to grow old with, it would not be without pain. But if we say we love the Lord and want to live it, are we willing to surrender everything and submit to His Perfect Will, even when we could not comprehend it yet?

Romance is a gift from God. But just as how money is a gift too, when we are not careful and wise with the way we handle it, it becomes an ugly idol in the eyes of our Master. What was meant to give glory to Him has now replaced His position in our lives.

There is a right time for everything, Ecclesiastes 3 says. And we could give way to His right timing when our hearts are set on the Lord and His Perfect Will in surrender. When it is time, we would see that the great Elohim Himself has placed all things in proper order.

People all over the globe hunger for love that they have to use up their lifetime looking for another person to love perfectly. But has not the Father in heaven already done the greatest expression of love for us 2000 years ago through His Son, the Anointed One? Was Jesus Christ’s sacrifice on the cross not enough for us to realize that He is True Love? And would it not take just a taste of His perfect love for us to understand that we have been made complete in Him?

He might or might not grant us this gift of romance, but He wants us to know that the only romance He wants us to chase after, is romance with Rabanni Yahshua ha Mashiyach, the Lord Jesus Christ – our Bridegroom, and our First Love. Are we, like Mary, willing to pour out everything – desires and affections – into the feet of Jesus?

People will wonder why we are willing to forsake everything – even the supposedly good things – for the sake of Jesus. Let them wonder. People will laugh at you for being illogical and foolish enough to miss out on the fun. Let them laugh. But His glory would then shine in your set-apart life if you allow Him to move in you, and then the world will see Him there. Let them see.

Through The Needle's Eye

There is a difficulty recently whenever I get asked of my plans in life. You might have not yet known, but, through the grace of God, I finally graduated last April with an AB English degree. Praise God!

Most say I should proceed to Law School, and some who have the same passion for writing as I do, say taking a Master’s degree is better. My relatives on the other hand, I could tell, are desperate to have me find a job so I could help my family right away. It seems as if everybody around me is fussing about, pouring out suggestions, encouragements, and insults, but here I am, not moving an inch towards the direction they are telling me to go. At least not yet. The still, small voice is still telling me to stay, and to not make any rash decisions. And so I obeyed.

What was I to say? That I was waiting on God? I tried giving that answer when the most concerned people approached me. And for self-professed Christians, the responses I had received were pretty much not what I have expected.

               “No. You become a lawyer. You’d provide your future family well with that. You could still be a good Christian…just don’t do the really bad stuff.”

                “So you’re going to wait. There are countless fresh graduates in the country fighting over limited jobs and here you are, staying still. I don’t think the Bible tells you to do that. You’re interpreting it wrongly.”

It seems as if we are already trying to make Jesus fit in our lives, in ways we find convenient, rather than fitting our lives in Jesus, no matter how we find it inconvenient. There is a huge difference. Why, even in the Church, is Christ – the Bridegroom – fitted into our daily lives, rather than our lives wrapped solely around Him? Why do we deliberately choose through deceitful hearts, before we claim through “prayers” for blessing, rather than praying and waiting for whatever the Lord chooses for us?

I am reminded of a story in the gospels when a rich young man came to ask Jesus about eternal life. He followed all commandments the Torah tells them to follow, but he still found it incomplete. When Jesus answered, “Sell all your possessions, give it to the poor, and follow me,” the young man sadly turned around and left. It was too painful for him to give up everything he possessed. How was he supposed to eat and live as comfortably as before? How was he supposed to help provide his family if ever they needed anything? Couldn’t he still be this comfortable and be saved? After all, he follows the commandments. He would still be morally upright, wouldn’t he?

When he left, Jesus told his disciples that it was more difficult for a camel to enter a needle’s eye than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God. When I was younger, I used to think it would be impossible then to get in God’s kingdom if I were rich. That was that. It still confused me however, as I knew a lot of Christians who were financially well-off. Finally however, I have learned through Kuya Randy, a missionary I have gotten acquainted to, that that was not the case after all.

In the olden days, camels had to get through a narrow gate they all called needle’s eye. For a camel to pass through the entrance, its burden on its back and those dangling by its sides are to be removed. After the camel has been free from the baggage, it has to kneel to be able to pass through the narrow door. Unless it kneels and unless its baggage has been lifted off, the camel could not get in.

We might not be as rich as this young man, but I still believe we still have to take off the baggage, and kneel before our Master. The rest – the jobs, the opportunities to receive – should follow, depending on the Father’s will. Even the tiniest detail, like choosing a job you’d do for the most of the rest of your life, should be surrendered to the Lord's will, if we want to step up in the Christian faith. A baby should never remain a baby. The more we push ourselves into that narrow gate, the more we have to take off. It’s hard. I could never even count how many times I have cried myself to sleep, feeling the pain of subjecting everything to the Master’s will.

As Eric Ludy puts it, “I believed! I believed that two thousand years ago, this guy named Jesus was nailed to a tree. And that He took all my sin upon himself and that I can now know for certain I won’t end up in hell. I believed it, okay? But then, if that’s all there was in Christianity, why was my life really no different than anyone else’s who had good morals, grades, manners, and hygiene?”

I have always wondered how different a Christian is from the non-believers who were practically “good” and never broke the law.

It’s surrender.

Because we are living in an age where the world has so entangled itself with our spirits, the act of surrendering rarely comes into a man’s mind…even a Christian man’s. We live and earn a living separately from our supposed devotion. Like oil and water together. Coming to think of it, is that God’s ultimate desire for us? I don’t think so.

We do not separate God from anything. Career, human relationships, and money are too petty to be placed separately or before God. And so we decide. Who do we really please with our plans and actions?