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Thursday, February 19, 2015

Basic Problems in Writing





I know you’re a little lost. “It Must’ve Been Love” is blaring through your dad’s speakers and you could barely write something worth a read. You rest your chin on your right knee, hoping your fingers would type something nice without you having to think for them. Your head starts to throb. You hate the music, but you hate the idea of leaving an air conditioned room even more.


You detect the secretary’s strong perfume from the other room. It’s that bad, and it irritates your nose. You wait for a sneeze. It does not come, but a headache does. You realize you just had lunch but you’re hungry again. You suddenly want chips and chicken siopao. It’s only 1:12 in the afternoon. You wonder what you’re doing, writing this, but you eventually just convince yourself that this is free-writing. A practice. An exercise. You smile. In your head, of course, because it’s too tiring to actually use your smile muscles. You roll your eyes a little, but smile in your head. It’s basically the same thing, you think.


You can’t stand the perfume so you go out to check on the secretary. Maybe so you could tell her to not spray too much on her. There is nobody outside, nor is there anybody in the other room. It puzzles you. It scares you a little, so you ask your dad. He does not answer you, so you lie down on the bench opposite his table to demonstrate your annoyance. You squirm like a fish out of water and cover your whole face, complaining that the perfume is giving you a headache. You fake crying. Your dad does not mind you, so you go back to your table hoping to write something better or to go deaf for a while. You could not and do not, and now you’re not entirely sure if it is the music or the perfume that is driving you crazy. You scrunch your nose for the fifth time.



You finally rest your face on your palms and decide to give up. You haven’t written anything. You sigh, feeling sorry for yourself, because you should write. You should have written something from your 15-minute experience, but you haven’t. So you give up, and decide to post this to make the realization and frustration public.