It was my first day yesterday practice teaching, except that
I didn’t teach yet. Prof. Pasandalan, the teacher I was assigned to, is getting
a lot busier these days, being the new college Assistant Dean, so she had
tasked me to administer her English 1 class’ prelim exam.
That giddy feeling in my stomach had lingered for too long
that I couldn’t take my mind off it. I had to go to the classroom alone, unlike
my peers who had their teacher introduce themselves for them. I had no one,
which I also prefer. It’s good not having to think about the teacher studying
you when you introduce yourself to a whole class. Unless you want to show off, of course.
Excitedly, I cradled the brown envelope of test papers and
booklets on one hand and walked, one heel after the other, to room 117. I was
informed they were BS Economics students and pretty much lively. “Kani sila na mga estudyante, hilig jud ni sila mangutana. They
will do everything to get the lesson side-tracked. So you have to prepare yourself,”
Prof. Pasandalan laughingly warned me. “Aw,
kaya kayo ni, ma’am.” I over-confidently replied, trying to convince
myself. Silently, I uttered a final short prayer just when I was nearing the
classroom.
I noticed how their heads turned from their books when I was
about to enter the room. Not even hesitating, I flashed them my staple friendly
smile and fashionably strode to the
teacher’s table, intentionally not minding the gasps from a few girls in the
room (you know how girls love to gasp at the slightest of things), realizing I was
not their teacher.
I took my time resting the envelope and booklets on the
table. Then I looked at everyone and smiled. Outside I was as calm as a clam,
but inside was a carnival, I tell you.
“Hi. You’re under Ma’am Pasandalan, right?”
I get agitated nods. Good. At least I’m in the right room.
They do look a lot more mature for first year
students. Good thing somebody had warned me about that. They did tower over me.
“I’m Katherine Aine Codas and I will be administering your
exam as Ma’am Pasandalan could not make it today.”
From the corner of the room, I heard a guy repeat my name.
Later on I realized they had a classmate with the same name. Figures. Because Katherine is SUCH a unique name. Let me laugh for a second. Ha. :D
I went on, still wearing my unwavering smile.
“I am a fourth year AB English student and this is part of our requirement – to observe
and handle classes. I would be with you pretty much for the whole sem, so
please do take care of me.”
I sort of rushed the last part, not being used to having all
eyes on me. At the corner of my eye, I spotted the guys giggle and playfully
punch each other. “Uy, take care daw oh.
Ayeee.”
Maintaining my friendly face, I chose to ignore them and
have their fun, loosening up. After all, a long exam awaited them; I didn’t
want to ruin that.
“Gwapa kayo siya,” I
heard a girl whisper as I took my seat. LOL. It felt awkward having heard that,
but I felt it was best to pretend not hearing anything. Though I have to admit
that I liked them already. They nearly filled the entire room but they didn’t
even intimidate me. Rather, I felt as if they were just the friends I
haven’t met yet.
“Are you ready?” I finally asked.
“Yeeeees!” They smiled back.
“Alriiiight.”
As usual, I caught a few students cheating. Why do I always get this whenever I
administer a test? If there’s one thing I do not like in a test, it’s
cheating. Yes. Then I tend to be not-exactly-friendly
then.
It’s funny how students cheat. They look at the proctor
first before shifting their eyes to their seatmate’s paper. Just imagine how
many times I had wanted to laugh whenever they look at me only to realize I had
been watching them. Really, it is so much funnier than how I said it was.
After a few minutes, I could no longer tolerate it so I had
to reprimand them, still with a controlled “friendly” tone.
“Please. Eyes on your own paper,” my exasperated voice interrupted
the undisturbed silence. “You know, I had been given the authority to mark your
paper “cheating”, if I do find you cheating.”
A few people outside stopped in their tracks just to turn
and look inside after hearing me.
“So don’t ever think I’m not watching you,” I continued. “Because I am.”
A guy in front of me relaxed. He had probably prayed I’d say
those words as I had seen how uncomfortable he was, seeing his row-mates
silently exchange answers.
The examination rolled on with a few questions. It became
more peaceful, and I was satisfied. When the time came when they, one after
another, went forward to submit their booklets, I began to relax too. Except,
of course, when the students who cheated submitted their papers.
“I saw you,” I informed him in a hushed voice. I was smiling
to not scare him off. I was yet to teach these kids a couple of grammar lessons
and I do not want their Affective Filter to hinder them from learning. Them
disliking me would, of course, convince them that language learning is not
worthy of their attention. So as much as possible, I wanted them to know I was
still a friendly Ate.
“Ha?” he asked
back, acting all innocent as if I haven’t caught him five times.
“I saw you at the back.” I was still smiling, hoping he’d
give up the acting stint.
He didn’t answer. Instead, he grinned before cupping his
hand over his mouth, finally admitting (although discreetly) his deed. I raised
both my eyebrows.
“Okay. I will not tell Ma’am.” I said patiently, as if he
were a grade-schooler. “Pero warning ha? Basta di na nimo to buhaton. Okay?”
I watched him grin and nod once before leaving the classroom.
I had wanted to separate his booklet and mark his paper “cheating”, but I also
wanted to give him another chance. And I wanted him to know that he should do
these kinds of things on his own, and I am willing to help him. I inserted his
booklet in the same stack the other booklets were in. I also did the same thing
with the other guy after I had talked to him. Although unlike the previous guy, he denied
his deed (despite me catching him several times), at least he knows I am giving
him a chance if he promises not to do it again.
The rest fared well, I suppose. A few asked me questions
regarding the answers to the exams (and I had been expecting that), and a few
were indifferent. Despite the little swaying of morals on the first day though,
I still am looking forward to finally connecting with them and sharing to them
what I know (in the legal way, of course).
I don’t know; I couldn’t explain this. Ever since I had been
in Ma’am Lynnie’s class, teaching to me had been presented in a different light
now. Alright. So basically, teaching had not been a desire. It still is not on
my list of dreams either. But from the moment I had handled a Sunday school
class, I had realized how a teacher could influence her students. And by the
end of the day, no matter who you had been teaching to, you’d always feel filled despite the exhaustion. I have no
gift in teaching, as far as I could tell. I easily run out of words. I easily get
distracted when everyone’s expectant eyes are on me. AND I have a different way
of learning things. Trust me. Every time
I deliver a report in class, My visual aids only contain one PHRASE per slide,
and I explain the same way I might learn it – which is usually peculiar, as my
study habits are uncommon. And at the end, I always feel like they do not get
anything, so I always feel the need to say in an exasperated tone: “Do you get
it, guys?”
This is going to be a tough semester, but I am absolutely
looking forward to it. Oh, I’m pretty sure Prof. Pasandalan is among the best
teachers in the department, but I still want to spice things up with some
personal touch. Tenenen: LOVE. This might sound off and out of place for some,
but yes. It’s the fact that I could reach out to them that gets me.
Those expectant faces DO expect a lot.
