For the Joy that comes from HIM

HALLELUJAH! I just want to praise the Lord. The joy He has granted me is overflowing, I could not contain it. This privilege that He has given me is simply wonderful, I could not even find the right words to express how honored I am to be in the picture He himself had painted. It makes me smile whenever I recall I had been grinning broadly and singing hymns and Sunday School songs since yesterday morning. I was so glad. No, wait. I was exhilarated. I was bursting in joy.

“The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise Him.” Psalm 28:7

Everytime I think about how messed up I had become, and everytime I recall the Lord's revealed plans for me, I literally shiver. My knees weaken and I'm not exactly sure if I'd be crying for joy or for the uncertainty.

“Lord,” I had asked quite a few times before, “are you sure you're choosing me?”

I had been convinced that I had always fallen short of the 'standards' I thought there was. I was conditioned to view the chosen ones to be righteous, strong, capable, and devout Christians who probably fasted on a regular basis and never dared to miss a single quiet time that would most probably last for hours every time. What was I? I was no where near people like that, I thought. So, what is in me that God would pick me out to be a part of this team He had planned to build? Nothing, I thought.

I would love to be part of this battle. I seriously do. But the question the enemy always injects in my mind is this: “I'm not good enough to be in this. I had been a lukewarm Christian most of my life. Hello? I don't think I have what it takes. I couldn't possibly be called, could I?” So instead of finding out, I slowly dismiss the thought, in the embarrassment of even considering myself 'called', or so they say.

But it was gnawing me. It was eating my insides, like I knew I just couldn't sit and watch and be a lukewarm and passive 'Christian' all over again. I had forgotten Moses: the young man who took another man's life, considered himself unclean, and couldn't even manage to speak to a crowd. He was given this great task that the Lord wanted him to obey. And I had forgotten Isaiah: the man with unclean lips. He was purified by the Lord. And because he had been more than willing, he was sent by the Lord to the nations with this huge responsibility that he never thought he'd be given. How about Paul? The other apostles? David? Gideon? What kind of people had they been prior to God's calling?

How different am I from them? They were as incapable as I am at first. They were as ungodly as I am at first. And the enemy was attacking me using this past that I have. Discouraging me. Telling me I was still not worthy. That I was not good enough. Making me doubt what the Lord could do through me. Somehow, I was limiting the Lord.

It almost got me, honestly. I almost convinced myself maybe I was not part of this plan because I was not good enough. But He shook me. He shook me hard. The Holy Spirit told me to wake up from this deep slumber I had been in. And I did. And I wouldn't want to go back to sleep again.

This is not about me. This is not about what I can do. This is not about how good I am, or how much I could contribute with my capabilities. None of 'me' is going to matter in this warfare. It's all about Him. It's all about who He is. It's all about how He is going to use me. He is in control, and none of what I am able or not able to do is going to matter. Because this is His story. And He could do whatever He wants to do with me. He could place me wherever He wants to place me. Nothing is too hard for Him because He is all-powerful! None of the enemy's attacks is going to tear me apart because I am covered with the blood of Jesus Christ. It does not matter anymore for by just being in the Lord's side, we are already declared victors. And nothing that the enemy will be doing is going to intimidate me again. My eyes are set on Jesus Christ, my Lord. That is more than enough to keep me from falling. Praise the Lord.

“Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-39

“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, 'Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?' And I said, 'Here am I. Send me!'” Isaiah 6:8


**The prayer for today that had appeared below my blog page:

Lord, I have but a bread and a fish, I do not have much but I offer all I have to you. I know that with your blessings, my efforts will yield a thousandfold more than I could ever bring forth alone.