Am I Loving Right? (Devotional Friday)

A few days back, a friend said something that made me want to curl in sadness and frustration. After years of looking up to this person as somebody Christlike, I thought all I would be seeing of him was the good side. Okay, maybe I expected too much. He should know better, I thought, holding back my tears, wishing I could get out of the room already to pour everything - tears and groaning - to God.

I reasoned with the Lord, "God, can you just give this guy a good spanking? He doesn't even know I'm hurt because of what he said. Imagine that!"

My sobs had probably seeped through the walls because that night, my younger sister came in the room, and just stared at me before she went back out (probably realizing I was better off alone). It was tough, I tell you. Do you remember the time you were so hungry you dashed to the fridge to take that last slice of cake you've been saving only to find out that it really isn't there anymore? My feelings, exactly.

I asked the Lord why that person didn't even send me a short message of apology. There was only silence and my silent phone, and I was only as hurt as I had been hours before.

The next day, I recalled the events and got hurt again. "Lord!" I cried out in my head. "I can't even stop thinking about it. How should I forgive when he doesn't even know he's supposed to ask for forgiveness?" Again, there was only silence. No lightning, no shaking of the ground to answer my question. There was only silence, and I was left to evaluate how I've been badgering God with such childish complaints over five words a person just told me.

"Lord, I want to love the way you do," I softly started in tears, realizing my mistake of taking a selfish perspective. "But how do I continue to love this person despite the hurt?"

Peace washed over my anxious soul, as the Lord led me to 1 Corinthians 13. It's pretty much a common passage. In fact, this passage is discussed even in English classes, as far as I know. Honestly, I do not even take a second look at this passage, thinking I already possess this kind of love - the kind Paul defined. "Psh. 1 Corinthians 13? I've been singing a song about that since I was a little kid! How could I not know how to love like that?" my mind boasted.

But the Holy Spirit prompted me to read it with careful thought.

"If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part, but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."

1 Corinthians 13

Like a mantra, I always repeat to myself before to love my "enemies" (or the people who hurt me, anyway). And in reply, I tell myself, "Wow, you're doing a good job, Aine! You're loving them by not seeking revenge!" That is love, isn't it?

Now, reading the passage again, there is a huge chunk of definition I have taken away from love, I realized.

"You do want to love the way I do, right? Then follow what I say about love," the Lord reminded me patiently.

Love. Wow. It's now such a misused term. Either you mistake it for the mushy and tingly feeling you get in romance movies, or you mistake it for physical attraction. That's Eros love - erotic and dependent on physical presence. Sometimes, we also mistake love for that which is conditional. Yeah, sure. I'll love you...as long as you do or don't do this!

Imagine if the Lord's love were anything like that. What a terrible fate that would be for us!

Thankfully, His love is different. God's love is perfect and immovable - that which we should possess (and desire!) as well, as His children.

Follow what I say about love, the soft voice rang in my head as I thought about closing my Bible.

Taking my little pocket journal, I made a little checklist about love. Each time I'm not sure if I'm loving a person right, I'd mark the blanks to keep me on track. Maybe you could try along with me! Below is a mini checklist on love based on 1 Corinthians 13 that you could easily click and save.

Still hurting, and still incapable of forgetting what had happened, I marked my scribbled checklist in complete honesty, evaluating my attitude towards my friend. Guess what. I only had one check mark. The other blanks were marked X. So much for a so-called Christian, huh?

At that moment, I knew for sure the Lord was not pleased with my attitude towards that person (no matter how unfair I thought the situation had been). As Love Himself, He, too, demands we love the world as He has, regardless of what we feel. 

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are My disciples, if you love one another."

John 13:34-35

Usually, I would've easily said, "Well, duh! I'm loving already." However, if we REALLY take a closer look at the version of love we possess (like marking a checklist, for example), it might still fall short of True Love.

It's all or nothing, I am reminded every time I'd realize how my love has all the characteristics of True Love except for a few difficult areas. Isn't that what perfect Love is all about? The kind of Love Christ offers to share to everyone?

We are Christ's disciples. And only when we truly love do people get to see us as part of Jesus's team! Love one another. Love. Love with His love. Wow. Just think of what would become if all of us possess a love like this.

We are but works in progress, we know that, and it's one tough path to take, being in a world contaminated by pain, hatred, false philosophies, and pure wickedness. But be assured that in desiring and earnestly seeking what God desires for us, He is faithful to sustain us until the finish line. Let us love the way He tells us to, then, and the love of our Lord would overflow our cups as we allow ourselves to be channels of it.

Light up God's seal in you. Abound in His love, princes and princesses.

"We love because He first loved us."

1 John 4:19