I didn't have a Facebook account until my senior year in college

Most people would be surprised every time I tell them I wasn't allowed to have a Facebook account until I turned 18. And even after I turned 18, I wasn't allowed to post anytime I wanted. Back then, Facebook shows your friends what post you liked or commented in, so my dad would always know what I've been up to online if he checked! I didn't understand at the time but my dad told me Facebook was bad for me. Of course I didn't believe him then. If I hadn't told him our professor was posting our assignments on our Facebook group, he wouldn't even have allowed me to open an account! It was 2013 and everyone I know was pretty much on the platform.

I resented him for a while then. But looking back, I realized I probably wouldn't have started this blog had I been on Facebook when everyone else was there. I started my [first] YouTube channel too, having nothing else to do with the internet, our DSLR camera, and our family laptop. 

It's not that I'm ungrateful for the convenience of social media today, but recently I've been struggling with focus and creativity. I couldn't even count how many times I've found myself scrolling through Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok — hopping from one app to another — until I realize I still have tons of work to do. And despite the dopamine they say you get from the apps, I always feel groggy as soon as I look up from my screen.

But do I ever stop?

You're right.

I don't.

So last night I uninstalled TikTok — the number one culprit. It's crazy how I learn so much and laugh so much from 15-second videos, but my attention span was plummeting. Suddenly, I couldn't even work without stopping every 5 minutes to check on my phone. I couldn't even watch a YouTube video without getting distracted by the recommended videos at the sidebar.

I watched a video the other day on focus and the guy (see, I don't even remember who he was) explained that the problem today isn't too much information, but information management. Again, I mostly forgot what he said because I might have clicked out 3 minutes into the video, but I remember him recommending we take a step back from these sites or platforms that feed us too much information. It was not a new suggestion, but it was a reminder that I need to create more space in my head for creativity and peace. That I need to be more intentional about it.

Removing an app like TikTok from my phone doesn't seem like much, but many who've tried say it worked wonders for their productivity and work patterns. Perhaps next week I'd have the strength to remove another app until I can do all the things I used to do when my daily life didn't revolve around my phone. Sometimes it's better to peel off an old band-aid slowly. 

Until then, however, I'd have to deal with this quiet urge to reinstall the app back.