A return after long wanderings

One good thing about being an English major is being able to realize something new about life every time a new literary work gets in my hand. Take this post's title, for example. A return after long wanderings. This phrase was taken from "The Unbearable Lightness of Being", a novel by Milan Kundera. It was actually written on Franz's (a character in the novel) tombstone. He was a womanizer and spent most of his days with his mistresses. This pretty much explains why his wife decided to have this line on her husband's grave. After the wanderings, he (or his body, anyway) finally went back to the place where he rightfully belonged -- home.

At first, the phrase just sounded too fancy for me that I immediately took my pen and scribbled the words on a piece of paper I had begged from my seatmate (yes, I didn't bring any paper to school). It seemed to me there was something more in those words that I am yet to realize. I was right, apparently. There was more to that line that fitted me and the circumstance that I am in.

"So, where had you been exactly?"
"What wanderings?"
"Where had you returned?"
"Why aren't you answering the questions yet?!?"

Hold your horses, people. I am yet to explain the most part of everything. *winks*



I admit, I had been guilty of being impatient, waiting for the Lord's answers. Or that was what I thought. I never realized I had been waiting for something that had been in front of me for a very long time already. I had probably been too busy complaining and crying my eyes out to the Lord without realizing that He had already placed the answer right in front of me. Everything could have not been this complicated had I taken the time to look around and listen to the Holy Spirit's whispers to me. Despite all these, I still thank the Lord that He had been absolutely patient and faithful the whole bumpy ride.



If wandering meant going elsewhere other than the Lord's path, then yes, maybe I really had been wandering. I had subjected myself to emotional depression without even thinking about it. Experiencing the rocks, I admit, discourage me, which explains why I tend to waver and get side-tracked. I let my tears drown me. I know it's no excuse. There never should be excuses in the first place. The grace of The Lord is infinite so that its light encompasses even the darkest paths we could ever get through in life. His light is forever aflame, that even a thousand excuses are not enough to not see it.

In the Bible, Pharaoh's heart was hardened that it took a number of plagues before he finally yielded to God's words. Had I been like Pharaoh? Had it taken me several sufferings before I learned to let go and let God? These were the messages the Holy Spirit made me realize through my devotionals this week. Every single time, I was being reminded of the Lord's greater power. I thank the Lord for never getting tired of reminding me.

My Father led me back to the tracks. I do not know how many times He had pressed me to listen to Him, but as He keeps on telling us, He never gives up on His children. He never lets us go. He had never let me go. Ever. His love is the "enchanted" chain that could never get broken, and the greatest superglue to my soul. And now that I had listened, MIRACLES happened. Yes. Just like that. It was like God's way of telling me, "See, my child? Why had you been so afraid? Look at the wonders of holding on to Me."


"I thank Christ Jesus our Lord, Who has given me strength." 1 Timothy 1:12

These trials that I had gone through, am going through, and about to go through, I know, are just to rebuke, teach and prepare me for His plans and for the days to come, as we await the Lord's next coming. I still might be in a rocky trail right now, but I believe I am much better than when I had been on smooth pavement. Who else is carrying me in His arms? The Lord makes the rockiest terrains the smoothest path there ever can be. :)


It is clear to me that He has greater plans that I have to patiently wait for. I have no idea what they are, but I do know that whatever they are, they're beyond beautiful. They're perfect.


He called me back. The King of kings, the Lord of lords, the Creator of the universe, and my Father called me back. After the long wanderings, He had helped me return to the place where I was supposed to be -- home. In His arms. In Him.


"Praise the LORD. Give thanks to the LORD, for He is good; His love endures forever." Psalm 106:1


Que Dieu vous benisse. <3, Aine